when will i ever learn?

a too-good-to-miss sale on the tea collection line through a U.S. online site had me splurging a bit this week on some gorgeous clothes i've been eyeing since learning i was pregnant (since i didn't know the sex of the baby i couldn't buy anything then!). i'm a frequent online shopper and normally know the "tricks" of getting around certain shipping costs, esp. from small U.S. sites, because of the typically high customs rates we canadians have slapped on us. i've been hit with some pretty outrageous and unexpected costs at the door (sometimes higher than the total cost of the merchandise!). this wasn't one of those times... but close enough! seriously. when will i ever learn?
so i was in the middle of feeding him when i heard the knock at the door. i thought of ignoring it, but it was persistent so i finally get up with the baby in my arms, just as he lets out one of his famous turbo poops, a loud, violent force of shit that i can feel through his pants as i open the door. i see the UPS guy step back from the smell emanating from this kid, and perhaps i'm too embarrassed since i easily hand over my credit card to cover the charges.

still reeling, i head upstairs to change his diaper, set him down on the change table, and start to remove the diaper when i notice he's still not done!! there is still poop oozing out!! i let him finish, use a dozen or so wipes to clean him up, bend down to grab a fresh diaper, and notice a stream of liquid soaring over my head. i leap out of the way as i quickly grab whatever i can to block the pee from hitting us. i shake my head and wonder, again, when the hell i will ever learn!